OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
