I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
