I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
