thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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