You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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