we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just googled if crying burns calories
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
