it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
