just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
