How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
