You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize