Umm I'm too high to move.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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