it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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