You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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