I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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