you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
