Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
