Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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