She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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