we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
