It's Friday. Sex?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
