A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
