You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
