Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
