Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
