I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
