The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
