I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
