She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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