Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
