need another drink. this is the easiest way
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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