shes about as inviting as chlamydia
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
