I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize