I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm like, not good at living.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize