Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
