dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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