I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
