Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
