You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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