yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
