I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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