ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
this boner is exhausting
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Randomize
