Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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