watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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