Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
