Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
