About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
