Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
