It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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