either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Screwed.edu
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
