This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
