I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
