Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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