i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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