If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize