Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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