my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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