It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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