I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
