I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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