walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
